The Concurrent Dreams of Certain Death
by hanianknight
Summary: For weeks Harry Potter has been plagued by nightmares of his friends demise.Can he stop these horrific visions from coming to fruition, or is it a foregone conclusion set in stone by his own grim destiny?


"_You and your harmless dick can't do anything right." _Ginny's words rang in Harry Potter's ears as he flipped through the channels on his dirty black and white T.V. The picture fazed in and out on the stolen porn channel that he spent most of his time watching. He felt nothing while watching it.

"Hey bitch, get me a butterbeer you ugly ass whore," screamed Harry Potter into the tiny connected kitchen.

"Fuck you, you lazy asshole".

"Bitch-ass, titty-ass, hoe, get me my fucking butterbeer before I pop you in the fucking mouth. "

The Boy Who Lived heard a rustling in the kitchen, and then Ginny shuffled into the living room and dropped the butterbeer in his lap. He shot her a death glare, and she muttered the word "asshole" under her breath and walked away. He noticed an especially disgusting smell in the room that overpowered the usual cat-piss. His glazed over eyes scanned the room until they stopped on a brown watery mess on the wall. The dirty blue wallpaper was coming off around it.

"Hey you stupid bitch. Your retard boyfriend shit on the wall again. If you don't clean up after him I'll put the fucking moron outta his misery." Harry Potter downed the butterbeer in one gulp and scratched his hairy belly. He ended up scratching a sore and when he raised his finger it was covered in blood. He wiped the blood on the armrest of the chair.

"I'm not cleaning up after him. Fuck you."

Harry Potter pushed himself out of the chair, his gut hanging down over his yellow stained boxers. He weighed at least 350 pounds, and his back hurt appropriately. He picked up the bat that he kept leaning against the chair and walked to the closet. His feet were already sticky from the dirty shag carpeting. He unlocked the door and swung it wide open. Inside was the tall, skeletal frame of his former friend Ron Weasley. Ron Weasley hadn't been the same since his accident. With a surprisingly swift movement Harry Potter brought the bat down on the retards head with a sickening crack. With a cry of "Scabbers, my love!" Ron Weasley promptly shat himself and fell into a twitching mess on the floor.

Harry Potter turned around and plopped his giant ass right back onto the chair. "The retard's dead. Go clean it up you whore."

There was no response from the kitchen. Harry Potter repeated himself. Ginny answered back with a resounding "Who cares."

"Hey you frog faced bitch, come here and suck my dick. I'm sick of working."

"You ain't worked a moment in your life pencil-dick. "

"Come out here and say that you pox-marked whore bag of a bitch."

Ginny walked out of the kitchen, and sure enough, she was pox-ridden. Her body was diseased from living in Ron Weasley's shit and sucking strange men's dicks. She didn't enjoy being a whore; it was just the only thing to do. The dirty Gryffindor robes, the same ones that she wore everyday of her childhood, still hung in tatters around her abused titties.

"Yo dickcheese, you aint worked a moment in your fat-assed, lazy, dick zit popping life." It was true. Harry Potter had never worked a moment. And he did spend a great deal of his time popping zits on his penis. He usually rubbed the zit puss on the arm of his chair.

Harry Potter suddenly sprung out of his chair and smacked the bitch on the side of her head with the now empty butterbeer bottle. It shattered and the shards of glass embedded themselves in her head. She fell onto the floor like a ragdoll and Harry Potter followed by getting on his knees next to her.

"Now you can pop my dick zits," he laughed. He opened her mouth and pulled his dick from the hole in his boxers. He shoved his dick in her warm mouth, making sure to rub his "wand" against her few remaining teeth. He could feel the zits popping and the pus dripping in to her mouth. The putrid taste must have woken Ginny up because she soon sprang to consciousness. But she wished that she didn't. Cause it was all gross and such.

Harry Potter couldn't cum because his dick was so tiny and harmless. Frustrated he simply smacked Ginny upside the head and walked to the bedroom.

"You fucking bastard. I hope you and your tiny broken harmless dick burn in Hell." Ginny was struggling to stand up.

Harry Potter swung around and whipped his penis out again. With a single pump of the dick a bullet shot out of the hole and smashed into Ginny's forehead. Her face caved in from the force of the blast spreading brain matter all over his chair.

He looked straight into the camera and said in a high pitched voice, "Did I do that?"

The credits began to roll over the studio audience's laughter.

The End!


End file.
